« March 2008 | Main | May 2008 »

April 28, 2008

Teenagers Part II

Tomorrow is my nephew - my Godson's 15th birthday.

First things first, I love you buddy!
He is "ME".....with a penis of course.

Sarcastic....Dry sense of humor.....amoungst other things.

Well his 18 yr old sister got him a VERY personal & thoughful gift.

Do you like it?

I think he might need to re-read the instructions!

Tomorrow is my nephew - my Godson's 15th birthday.

First things first, I love you buddy!
He is "ME".....with a penis of course.

Sarcastic....Dry sense of humor.....amoungst other things.

Well his 18 yr old sister got him a VERY personal & thoughful gift.

Do you like it?

I think he might need to re-read the instructions!

Posted by Teresa at 9:15 PM | Category:
| Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

April 24, 2008

Suicide.

Why?
Why do people commit suicide?

I've never understood it.
I can't honestly sit here and say that I've never thought about it, cause I have on a few dark occasions.
But why do people do it?

I had a friend of 20 yrs who killed herself. It was awhile ago. Maybe closing in on 10 yrs now.
She was depressed for a long time.
She tried to kill herself a few times before accomplishing her goal.
We all tried to help her.

But in the end, she did what she wanted I guess.
To me, and maybe I have no right saying this, she took the easy way out.
It made me mad.
It kinda made me feel like I didnt know how to be a good friend.

I can remember.....

Why?
Why do people commit suicide?

I've never understood it.
I can't honestly sit here and say that I've never thought about it, cause I have on a few dark occasions.
But why do people do it?

I had a friend of 20 yrs who killed herself. It was awhile ago. Maybe closing in on 10 yrs now.
She was depressed for a long time.
She tried to kill herself a few times before accomplishing her goal.
We all tried to help her.

But in the end, she did what she wanted I guess.
To me, and maybe I have no right saying this, she took the easy way out.
It made me mad.
It kinda made me feel like I didnt know how to be a good friend.

I can remember.....

I can remember a few weeks after she died getting a hand written letter from her.
It was really odd reading a letter, personal letter, written to me by a friend who was now dead.
It was obvious that the letter was written as she was fading away.

She took a bunch of pills.

The writing was hard to comprehend.
The words were starting to slant down half way thru.
It was weird.
It was very upsetting.
It made me mad as hell.
I still have it.

Yesterday when I got to work I found out that another friend of mine, only 36 killed himself the day before.
36!
Killed himself cause he was lonely.
Killed himself cause he didn't have a girlfriend.
Killed himself cause of the the stress of taking care of his elderly parents alone.
Killed himself.
Just left work early, went home, hooked up the hose to the car exhaust and killed himself.
It pissed me off.

Last Monday night I had to go to a wake for a friend I grew up with.
I played sports with him.
Went to high school with him.
Our families bbq'd and spent summer days and nights together for years.
He was only 42.

He was diagnosed with cancer right around Christmas last year.
By April 17, he was dead.
Has a wife.
7 and 12 year old boys.
Ran his own business, successfully for years.
He's dead.
He had NO choice.

Why?

I don't know the majority of you reading this personally.
Sometimes thats good.
Sometimes its not.

But I'm lonely.
I dont have a girlfriend or anyone to share my daily life with.
I haven't for a long time now.
I'm not an only child, but I may as well be.
I can NOT remember the last time my brother or sister did a single thing for either of
my parents without looking for something in return.

It depressing the hell out of me.
Yes, I have a handful of friends, but its not nearly the same.

I can go to work.
Be productive, maybe even have a giggle or two during the day.
I can have dinner and whatever with friends and have a good time.
I can take my Dad to a half dozen or so Yankee games a year and it be enjoyable.
I can spend every Tuesday night having dinner somewhere or shopping with my Mom.

But at the end of the day, I still have the pathetic task of coming home to no one.
My last words of the day are either to myself or Callie the cat.
It can be depressing as hell.
Sometimes it IS depressing as hell.

Maybe I'm just having a bad BAD week.
Today, could have - should have - would have been my something like 13 yr anniversary with my EX.
But its not.
I still miss her terribly.
I know I will never be with her again, for MANY reasons, both hers and mine.
But I still miss her as a friend, lover and companion.
I know there are people here that "I KNOW" who are going to be pissed off reading that, sorry.
But its true.

Like I said, there have been times that I've thought about taking the EASY way out.
But those days and thoughts have not been around in awhile.

Do I love my life?
Not really.
Do I love the person I have come to be?
Not really.
But I know there are things and people on a almost daily basis that I enjoy, some I even look forward to.
Do I worry about what I or my life will be like in 10 - 20 -30 - or 40 yrs?
Somedays.
Most days I just hope to be alive when the kids graduate high school or get married or have kids of their own.

Ummmm? Ya know what......nevermind, I'm just babbling now.
Sorry about that.

Posted by Teresa at 8:47 PM | Category:
| Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

April 16, 2008

All together now....

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear Pooooope
Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear Pooooope
Happy Birthday to you!

Posted by Teresa at 5:15 PM | Category:
| Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

April 9, 2008

Teenagers..

So the teenage niece and nephew came down this evening to have dinner and visit with my parents.

She is 18 and he will be 15 at the end of the month.

Myself, my parents and the two teenagers are sitting around the kitchen table having hot chocolate - coffee - and tea.
Talking about this and talking about that.
Crying and laughing and everything in between when ALL OF A SUDDEN my niece just blurts out the following to my Mother with her hands in the air about shoulder width apart --
Oh and Mimi, if you want to be a Great Grandmother you better talk to your Grandson cause there is NO WAY I'M HAVING MY VAGINA STRETCHED THIS WIDE!

My Mom was chocking on her beverage.
My nephew was beat red.
My Dad just shook his head and went into the living room and turned the TV on REALLY loud.
My niece was just like - What? It's true!
And I, yes I'm admitting it right here and now.....I laughed so hard I actually wet myself a bit!

Kids.
I'm NOT having anymore!

So the teenage niece and nephew came down this evening to have dinner and visit with my parents.

She is 18 and he will be 15 at the end of the month.

Myself, my parents and the two teenagers are sitting around the kitchen table having hot chocolate - coffee - and tea.
Talking about this and talking about that.
Crying and laughing and everything in between when ALL OF A SUDDEN my niece just blurts out the following to my Mother with her hands in the air about shoulder width apart --
Oh and Mimi, if you want to be a Great Grandmother you better talk to your Grandson cause there is NO WAY I'M HAVING MY VAGINA STRETCHED THIS WIDE!

My Mom was chocking on her beverage.
My nephew was beat red.
My Dad just shook his head and went into the living room and turned the TV on REALLY loud.
My niece was just like - What? It's true!
And I, yes I'm admitting it right here and now.....I laughed so hard I actually wet myself a bit!

Kids.
I'm NOT having anymore!

Posted by Teresa at 7:59 PM | Category:
| Comments (2)

April 5, 2008

Totally Bizzare....

Last night I had some really weird dreams.

I usually don't have dreams, or at least dont remember them.

But last night was just freaky.

I dreamed, or is it dreamt?
Anyway that I reached into my pocket and found 4 Bruce tickets! I called the Tramp and told her to get ready for the show and she said she "didn't care & didn't want to go" WTF?

Then I had another one where there was some dysfunctional pool going on in the country and I was choosen to go to Iraq in the Armed Forces. Can you imagine? I can't even win fighting Callie for bed space most nights!

And finally I went to the hair salon to say goodbye to my friend Donna and she was there dying the hair of the little biatch who just quit on her in the middle of the night!

Maybe it was the hot sauce on the bar wings last night that was playing games on my mind.
I'm not sure, but I'm drinking a shitload of water today to wash whatever it was out of my system!

Last night I had some really weird dreams.

I usually don't have dreams, or at least dont remember them.

But last night was just freaky.

I dreamed, or is it dreamt?
Anyway that I reached into my pocket and found 4 Bruce tickets! I called the Tramp and told her to get ready for the show and she said she "didn't care & didn't want to go" WTF?

Then I had another one where there was some dysfunctional pool going on in the country and I was choosen to go to Iraq in the Armed Forces. Can you imagine? I can't even win fighting Callie for bed space most nights!

And finally I went to the hair salon to say goodbye to my friend Donna and she was there dying the hair of the little biatch who just quit on her in the middle of the night!

Maybe it was the hot sauce on the bar wings last night that was playing games on my mind.
I'm not sure, but I'm drinking a shitload of water today to wash whatever it was out of my system!

Posted by Teresa at 11:29 AM | Category:
| Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)